*I neither condone nor condemn the TikTok video clips embedded in this article.

They represent the views of their content creators.

@standardissuebucket Turns out I have more sh*t to say about Dr. James Dobson. The belt thing is honestly insane I love pulling that one out at parties. #exvengelical #deconstructing #christian #spanking #parenting ♬ Tchaikovsky “Dance of the Reed Flutes”(1257471) – kzy

Bitter Fruit:

A Reflection on the Leadership of James Dobson

By Pastor Vinnie

Dr. James C. Dobson’s death led to a public outcry on the internet that I was not prepared for. My FYP (for you page) on TikTok—and actually across most platforms—exploded with videos announcing his passing. Yet the tone of those videos was neither mournful nor celebratory. Oddly enough, what I saw was more like a collective sigh of relief.

The legacy of Dobson’s teachings—both positive and negative—will be debated by people for decades to come. The purpose of this reflection is not to vilify Dr. Dobson or Focus on the Family. Many people have been blessed by their work, and I in no way am discrediting their experience. What this reflection seeks to do is settle in my own mind (and perhaps yours too, if I am successful) what we can learn and grow from as we listen to the many people who, at the time of his passing, finally feel free to make their hurt known. This is about listening, reflecting, and seeking to grow as leaders. Dobson is simply the voice of the moment; as people cry out, we can learn from them.

The online response stopped me in my tracks, as if tens of thousands online exhaled years of hurt in a single eerie chorus. I knew Dobson was politically and spiritually controversial outside the religious right, but what I found went deeper than I expected. Hundreds of people posted testimonies of how this man had shaped their childhoods in painful ways—stories of being victimized, traumatized, and left with wounds that lingered for decades. Not directly, but through his influence on how Christians parented in the West by his massive media ministry on family. Some even said his death felt like the lifting of a curse, something that could not be broken while he lived.

Is this what a pioneer Christian leader should expect at death? So many voices echoing the results of Bitter Fruit resonating with pain and healing?

When “Biblical Parenting” Became a Burden

In Dare to Discipline, Dobson urged parents to use spanking as a tool of authority, writing that a spanking should be “of sufficient magnitude to cause the child to cry genuinely.”¹

He defended corporal punishment as;

“in harmony with nature itself,”

portraying it as an expression of “benevolent love.”²

In The Strong-Willed Child, Dobson used an analogy comparing a pet’s challenge to authority with that of a child:

 “Just as surely as a dog will occasionally challenge the authority of his leaders, so will a little child—only more so.”³

On Hannity & Colmes, he illustrated the idea of  “learning from consequences” by remarking that a child;

“pulls a dog’s tail, and he gets a little row of teeth marks… A child learns from that little bit of pain.”⁴

Many Christian parents followed these teachings with sincere hearts, believing they were honoring God by raising obedient, godly children. But critics argue that this theological framing often justified excessive, damaging punishment. Survivors recount painful memories—one four-year-old recalled enduring; “100 hits without any pants or underwear… I remember hearing my own screaming and wondering if it would ever end.”⁵

Since Dobson’s passing, parents have come forward on social media, reflecting on how Dare to Discipline shaped their parenting—even to their later regret. Many confessed they followed Dobson’s strict rules because they wanted to raise their children “right” and be faithful to Christ. They placed trust in Focus on the Family to guide them in the way of Jesus. But the fruit of that guidance must be examined. Did it produce peace, gentleness, and love—or fear, shame, and distance?

Through the lens of Bitter Fruit, we can reassess the teachings that shaped so many lives.

From “Help” to Harm: Purity Culture

Dobson was also a prominent architect of what came to be known as “purity culture,” promoting ideas like “daddy–daughter dating” and purity balls—rituals designed to shape young girls into traditional ideals of femininity and chastity.⁶ Purity balls typically involve fathers pledging to safeguard their daughters’ virginity until marriage. Proponents saw these practices as fostering affection and moral clarity. But critics argue they instilled dysfunctional expectations—teaching young women to value themselves primarily in relation to their sexual status.⁶

The impact of this Bitter Fruit continues to affect our understanding of faith and femininity.

Historian Kristin Kobes Du Mez describes Dobson as a central figure who;

“corrupted a faith and fractured a nation,” cultivating a paternalistic Christian vision that diminished women.⁷

Dobson’s influence reveals both the appeal and the complications of the Bitter Fruit left behind. The questions remain: What is the true nature of the Bitter Fruit that has emerged from his teachings?

Dobson actively promoted Love Won Out, a conversion therapy program aimed at helping individuals struggling with sexual orientation change orientation —despite overwhelming consensus within science and even pastoral care that such therapy is harmful and discredited.²

One survivor wrote of the emotional toll:

“His radio show and books… fueled the shame that drove people like me into conversion therapy,” leaving a legacy of emotional devastation.⁸

The emotional toll of this Bitter Fruit cannot be understated; many still grapple with its effects.

Jesus never shamed the broken. He embraced them. He never demanded conformity before offering love. He led with compassion, not coercion.

Reflections on the Bitter Fruit of Dobson’s Legacy Can Guide Future Leaders in Their Journey

For every family that found direction in Dobson’s teachings, others found pain:

One parent confessed: “Parents were taught to fear their own children.”

Another parent—once faithful to Dobson’s discipline teachings—admitted:

“I thought I was saving my children from sin… Instead, I drove them away. My daughter won’t speak to me now, and I live with that regret every day.”

These voices are not isolated. They are the fruit. And they deserve to be heard—not dismissed, not debated, but received with humility and grace.

For many, the stories of Bitter Fruit are intertwined with their experiences of faith and family.

Core Leadership Lessons: Five Action Steps

1. Intentions Are Not the Final Measure – Dobson meant to protect families. But as Jesus warns, our legacy is defined not by intentions but by the effects—what fruit takes root.

2. Authority Without Mercy Wounds – Dobson’s focus on control often eclipsed empathy. True leadership must blend truth with grace—not rigid command with cold correction.

3. Inflexible Culture Leaves No Room to Heal – An inflexible view of purity culture and corporal punishment disregarded the emotional complexity of growing souls.

4. Cultivate Safe Spaces – Leaders must cultivate spaces that welcome healing and growth. Each leader must consider the Bitter Fruit they leave behind as part of their legacy.

5. Listening to the Wounded Is Sacred – Too often, we defend systems instead of listening to the harmed. Jesus leaned toward the broken—our ministries should do no less.

A Sobering Reflection

In navigating leadership, we must confront the Bitter Fruit that results from our actions.

Dr. James Dobson’s legacy is complex—woven with threads of conviction, cultural influence, and spiritual ambition. He sought to strengthen families, uphold biblical values, and offer clarity in a world he believed was morally adrift. His intentions were sincere, and many who followed his teachings did so out of a deep desire to honor God.

Nothing I say in this article is meant to put him down personally or to doubt his heart. It is to reflect on what it means to be a leader and to weigh what legacy we leave behind. I don’t want to work my whole life for the cause of God only to find, at the end, that I harmed more than I helped—or that, in helping some, others became fodder for the fire.

This is about more than James Dobson’s legacy. It is about reflecting on the tragedy of thinking we are standing up for good, only to reach the end and see how many were destroyed by our need to stand up for “right.” For what is more right than not hurting the little ones entrusted to the church and to parents? (Matthew 18:6)

Jesus reminds us—not Dobson, who now rests—but us, all of us, in Matthew 7:16: “By their fruit you will recognize them.” Not by their parenting theory. Not by their viewpoints. Not even by their intentions. The fruit is the evidence. And fruit, in the kingdom of God, is meant to nourish—not to wound. The fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—is sweetened by the love of God. It does not grow in the soil of shame, nor does it flourish under the weight of fear or punishment. When discipline becomes domination, when purity becomes pressure, when authority eclipses empathy—the fruit turns bitter, no matter how noble the seed.

This legacy of Bitter Fruit is a reminder to choose paths that nourish rather than wound.

Dobson’s teachings shaped generations. For some, they offered structure and clarity. For others, they sowed confusion, pain, and alienation. The testimonies of those harmed—children disciplined into silence, daughters burdened by purity, believers shamed into hiding—are not footnotes. They are fruit. And they must be reckoned with.

Understanding the Bitter Fruit of Dobson’s teachings can foster healing in many communities. This is not a call to vilify. It is a call to reflect. To ask, as leaders and followers of Christ: What kind of fruit are we bearing? Are our ministries marked by mercy or by control? Do our teachings lead to healing or to harm? Are we building communities where grace abounds—or where fear reigns?   Jesus did not say, “By their doctrine you will know them.” He said, “By their fruit.” And the fruit of Christ is always flavored with love—never with shame.

If Dobson’s legacy teaches us anything, it is that good intentions are not enough. Leadership must be measured by its outcomes, not its aspirations. And the most faithful leaders are those who listen to the wounded, repent when needed, and replant their gardens with gentler hands.   May we be those leaders. May our fruit be sweet. May it nourish the broken, welcome the outcast, and reflect the love of a God who never disciplines without compassion, never corrects without grace, and never calls us to purity without first calling us to belonging.

As we reflect on the Bitter Fruit, may we strive to cultivate gardens of love and compassion.

@robottaylor Dr James Dobson has passed. Allow me to say a word on him during this time as he begins to decay #focusonthefamily #dobson #evangelical #radio ♬ original sound – Robot Taylor

@uncleadam719 Replying to @wholly.chloe #purityculture #Dobson #exchristian #exvangelical ♬ original sound – Uncle Adam

@tyler_bradford_wright And friends I will continue to press on as a strong-willed child because the weird bad theology didn’t work on me in the end #exvangelical #jamesdobson #strongwilledchild #fyp #viral ♬ original sound – Tyler Bradford Wright

@kelseykmcg Book recommendation for anyone tryjng to understand the spectrum and variety of experiences in Dobson households. #inthewaytheyshouldgo #dobson #christianparenting #focusonthefamily @Marissa Franks Burt ♬ original sound – Kelsey Kramer McGinnis

*I neither condone nor condemn the TikTok video clips embedded in this article.

They represent the views of their content creators.

Notes

1. Michelle Boorstein, “James Dobson, Influential Voice of the Religious Right, Dies at 89,” Washington Post, August 21, 2025.

2. “James Dobson,” Wikipedia, last modified August 2025, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Dobson.

3. James C. Dobson, The Strong-Willed Child (Wheaton: Tyndale House, 1978), quoted in “James Dobson,” Wikipedia.

4. “Raising Children the Right Way,” Religion Dispatches, accessed August 23, 2025, https://religiondispatches.org/raising-children-the-irighti-way/.

5. [Author Unknown], “How Dobson’s Teachings Shaped My Childhood,” Medium, accessed August 2025.

6. “Purity Ball,” Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_ball; and “Purity Culture,” Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_culture.

7. Kristin Kobes Du Mez, Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation (New York: Liveright Publishing, 2020).

8. Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez, “Dr. James Dobson’s Death Ends a Life, but Not a Legacy of Lies and Harm,” Religion News Service, August 22, 2025

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Dealing With The Mountain of Burnout
By Pastor Vinnie MacIsaac

Click to listen to an audio version of this article 

How much can you give before you are completely spent? We all recharge our phones at least once daily (some of us more). Even as we take our phones off the charger, we know full well they will run out again—and likely at the moment we need them most, during the heaviest usage when the demands on the battery are highest. Does that mean the phone is defective or that the charger is not strong enough? No. It means that all powerful devices need to be plugged in more than once if they are going to keep powering our lives.

Have you ever felt like you’ve poured out everything you have, only to find yourself running on empty? It’s a strange paradox, isn’t it? You’ve given your best, done the work you felt God called you to do, and even seen results. Yet somehow, after the victory, you find yourself weary, drained, and wondering if you can keep going.

You’re not alone. Burnout isn’t just a modern phenomenon; it’s as old as the Scriptures. Today, nearly 40% of pastors report experiencing burnout. For church members and volunteers, the numbers are equally troubling. Studies show that as many as 20% of volunteers discontinue their service within a year, with burnout being a major contributing factor. Even more sobering, many churches are struggling to retain volunteers or recruit new ones, with over half of nonprofit organizations reporting losses in their volunteer base.

Burnout is real, and it’s affecting those who are most committed to serving God. But it’s not the end of the story. Elijah, one of the greatest prophets in the Bible, experienced burnout too. And his story in 1 Kings 19 shows us how God meets us in our exhaustion, renews our purpose, and calls us into a deeper, more committed walk with Him.

Elijah’s Journey to Victory and Collapse

Elijah’s life is one of the most remarkable in Scripture. He was a prophet called to minister to a divided and idolatrous Israel during the reign of King Ahab and Queen Jezebel. His mission was clear: to call the people back to worship the one true God, Yahweh.

From the very start, Elijah’s ministry was marked by boldness. In 1 Kings 17, he appeared out of nowhere to declare a drought in Israel, a direct challenge to the false god Baal, who was believed to control the weather. During this drought, God provided for Elijah—sending ravens to feed him, multiplying flour and oil for a widow, and even raising the widow’s son from the dead. These stories are core to so many of our sermons, devotions, and even children’s lessons. Everyone knows Elijah is all about victory! After all, God Himself takes him directly to heaven in heaven’s own limousine—a chariot of fire.

And how many powerful, inspiring sermons have we all heard and given about the defining moment of Elijah’s life: the showdown on Mount Carmel? With fiery courage, Elijah called the people of Israel to choose:

“If Yahweh is God, worship Him; if Baal is god, follow him.”

In one of the most dramatic scenes in Scripture, Elijah prayed, and fire fell from heaven, consuming the altar, the sacrifice, and even the water poured over it. The people fell on their faces, declaring:

“The Lord—He is God!”

It was the pinnacle of Elijah’s ministry. But mountaintop moments are often followed by deep valleys.

As a pastor and as a leader, I can tell you I am most tired after I preach a powerful sermon or lead a board successfully through a great challenge. And that is also the time I am most vulnerable because I am most spent because I gave all I had to God to use me. People won’t stop to remember that leaders and volunteers need to recharge, but God is tracking your battery’s limits at all times.

Burnout After the Mountaintop

Not long after this great victory, Queen Jezebel sent a message to Elijah: she was going to kill him. And he fled into the wilderness like a weak, scared upstart. This bold prophet, who had just called down fire from heaven, now sat under a broom tree, begging God to take his life.

“I have had enough, Lord,” he prayed. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” (1 Kings 19:4)

I don’t think Elijah was just physically exhausted. This was something deeper. He felt isolated, discouraged, and utterly spent. Despite the miraculous victory on Mount Carmel, Elijah felt as though his efforts had been in vain.

Sound familiar? Many of us have been there. Whether you’re a pastor, a church leader, or a volunteer, the pressures of ministry can leave you drained. Studies show that burnout often comes not after failure, but after significant achievements, when we’ve poured ourselves out completely and failed to replenish.

For church volunteers, burnout is particularly common. Twenty percent of volunteers stop serving within a year, and over half of nonprofits report struggling to retain or recruit volunteers. Even when the work feels meaningful, the relentless demands can take their toll.

Elijah’s story reminds us that burnout doesn’t discriminate—it can affect even the strongest among us. But it also shows us how God meets us in that place.

Making It to the Mountain

God’s response to Elijah’s burnout is one of the most beautiful parts of this story. He doesn’t rebuke Elijah for running or criticize him for feeling weak. Instead, He begins with care.

An angel wakes Elijah—not to give him instructions, but to give him food:

“Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” (1 Kings 19:7)

Elijah eats, sleeps, and eats again. God knows that Elijah needs physical restoration before he can hear anything else.

After this, Elijah travels forty days and nights to Mount Horeb, the mountain of God. And please, don’t miss this: God called him to Mount Horeb! That is not a small detail, no matter how easy it is to skip over in our rush to the bigger picture. It is the big picture, and Elijah knew what God meant when He said, “Go to Mount Horeb.”

The location is the call. The location is the message. The location is the restoration. The location is God telling Elijah just how big his role was and what was at stake.

Listen, when I noticed the importance of being called to Mount Horeb, it changed so much about the way I think about burnout so let’s not skip this key lesson. Mount Horeb is the place of Moses. Elijah knew that, and he could not escape the fact that this was a call to finish the ministry in the power of God—or die, never entering the Promised Land with his people.

Mount Horeb, also known as Mount Sinai, is a location of immense significance in biblical history, but especially to Elijah and Moses. Moses was given the Ten Commandments there (Exodus 19-20). Moses was forced to deal with the rebellion of his people worshiping the golden calf there (Exodus 32-34). God showed Moses His glory there (Exodus 33:18-23). But most importantly, God called Moses into ministry at the burning bush there (Exodus 3:1-12).

When the Israelites complained of thirst in the wilderness, God instructed Moses to strike a rock at Horeb, and water flowed out to sustain the people (Exodus 17:1-7). However, it is also believed to be the place where Moses, later in frustration, wrongly struck the rock again and forfeited his ministry and his entrance into the Promised Land (Numbers 20:10-13).

Mount Horeb: A Place of Identity and Risk

Do you get it? Do you see it yet? Do you see what Elijah saw when summoned there? Mount Horeb is the place where your ministry becomes your identity and what I mean but that is your real purpose and passion. It is also the place where you can lose it all because you think your identity is rooted in what you can or cannot keep doing for God.

What is your Mount Horeb? It’s the thing that makes you great, happy, and fulfilled, but it’s also the thing that can take even great leaders like Moses and Elijah down into burnout and bad decisions.

What is your Mount Horeb?  Burnout doesn’t happen at Mount Carmel; it happens when we stop hearing God at Mount Horeb!

Whisper On Me, Sweet Jesus, Whisper On Me

There, in a cave at Mount Horeb, Elijah poured out his heart:

“I have been very zealous for the Lord, but the Israelites have rejected Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and put Your prophets to death. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” (1 Kings 19:10)

Elijah’s words are raw and vulnerable. He isn’t holding back his frustration, fear, or despair. And God listens.

Then comes the moment that defines not just Elijah’s life, but the way we understand God’s presence. God tells Elijah to stand on the mountain, for He is about to pass by.

What happens next is extraordinary. A powerful wind tears through the mountains, but God isn’t in the wind. Then an earthquake shakes the ground, but God isn’t in the earthquake. After that, a fire blazes, but God isn’t in the fire either.

Finally, there’s a gentle whisper.

The word for wind in this story, רוּחַ (ruach), is the same word used for both “wind” and “spirit” in the Hebrew Bible. Are there times when we are so tired that the demands of life and ministry knock the wind (ruach) out of us—the very Spirit of God out of us?

This was at this same mountain that a great earthquake shook Moses and his people, symbolizing judgment (Exodus 19:18). When God descended on Mount Sinai to give the law, the mountain trembled violently, underscoring His holiness and the gravity of the covenant being established with Israel. Earthquakes often accompany God’s direct presence, emphasizing His overwhelming power and majesty. They signal a divine encounter or the seriousness of God’s intervention.

After the earthquake came fire, which in the Torah often symbolized not only purifying power but also God’s guidance for His people. A pillar of fire led Moses and the Israelites through the wilderness (Exodus 13:21). The entire covenant with Abraham was sealed with God showing up in fire, illuminating the way to atonement (Genesis 15:17).

Burned Out but Not Burned Up

Sometimes, we can get so “spent” that we stop breathing the רוּחַ (ruach), the breath of God. And if you are not breathing God’s Spirit, how will you be recharged? How will you feel the earthquake under your feet, reminding you of His presence in this place? How will you be led by His guiding pillar of fire?

You may feel burned out, but the fire of God—the pillar of God guiding your life—never goes out.

What happens when you can’t feel God’s Spirit, God’s fire, or God’s movement? Listen for the whisper of Jesus!

It’s in that whisper that Elijah finds God. Not in the dramatic, but in the stillness. Not in the chaos, but in the quiet.

This moment redefines Elijah’s understanding of God’s presence. On Mount Carmel, God had shown up in fire, but here on Mount Horeb, He reveals Himself in a whisper. It’s a reminder that God’s power isn’t always about spectacle—it’s about intimacy. Let Jesus whisper in your ear about the reason you’re called and why the story isn’t over.

Renewal and Recommitment

The gentle whisper wasn’t just comfort for Elijah; it was a call forward. God reminded Elijah that he wasn’t alone:

“There are still seven thousand in Israel who have not bowed to Baal.” (1 Kings 19:18)

God gave Elijah a new mission: to anoint new leaders and to prepare Elisha, the prophet who would carry on his work.

You may feel alone in your ministry—I get it; I’ve been there. But feeling alone and being alone are not the same thing. You may say, “I have no one to help me; look around!” I say to you, listen for the whisper, for God has not abandoned you. There are still seven thousand.

You may feel like you’re on your own, but the whisper of God tells us otherwise. There are still people who have not bowed to the pressures of this world, people who are waiting to walk alongside you in ministry. Elijah’s renewal came with a new mission—mentoring Elisha. Burnout happens when we pour out without pouring into others. Mentoring isn’t just about helping others; it’s about growing your own capacity as a leader. If you’re a Moses, don’t forget your Joshua and Caleb. If you’re an Elijah, let the whisper of God remind you that an Elisha is waiting to carry forward the work God has entrusted to you.

This moment became the anchor of Elijah’s life. His burnout wasn’t the end—it was a turning point. From here, Elijah’s ministry shifted. He became a mentor, a man focused not just on the present but on the legacy of God’s work through future generations.

Meeting Jesus at the Mountain

Elijah’s story teaches us that burnout isn’t failure, and it isn’t the end. It’s a signal that we need to pause and let God meet us in our weariness.

It all comes full circle at yet another mountain—Mount Tabor (as described in Matthew 17:1-8, Mark 9:2-8, and Luke 9:28-36).

Jesus Himself experienced a moment that could be likened to burnout. Why do I call it burnout? Burnout is defined by what happens when you can’t go forward. Even Jesus, in His humanity, faced moments of struggle. And who did He call on? Moses and Elijah—because only those who have been there can minister to us when we get there.

Jesus led Peter, James, and John—three of His closest disciples—up a “high mountain” to pray. These three often accompanied Jesus during significant moments of His ministry, such as in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus knew the cross was before Him, and He also knew that Peter, James, and John would soon fail Him in the garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46, Mark 14:32-42, Luke 22:39-46, and briefly in John 18:1).

So, on this mountain, Jesus called on those who had been to their own Mount Horebs, who had heard the whisper in the cave. When your closest friends fail you in your moment of burnout, God won’t. He will send to you those who have walked the path before you, so that you can lead those who are walking it behind you.

Dealing with burnout is not just about rest; it’s about real leadership. It’s about knowing where you have been, what it meant, and how to discern where God is sending you next so that you don’t succumb to the anxieties of the unknown. There will be days when you’ll feel like Moses, striking the rock in frustration, and days when you’ll be like Elijah, hearing the whisper, but both days are days that Jesus recharges your batteries with his whisper.  Jesus knows how to whisper to you in your season. He has nothing but love and empathy for you because He, too, needed Moses and Elijah to whisper encouragement back into His life, like he had into their lives.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet He did not sin.” (Hebrews 4:15)

The Whisper in the Cave

If you’re feeling burned out—whether you’re a pastor, a volunteer, or a weary believer—take heart. God meets you where you are, just as He met Elijah. He doesn’t rush you or rebuke you for being tired. Instead, He comes to you with tenderness, offering rest, nourishment, and His presence.But most importantly, He offers Elisha. You are not alone. Stop believing it was ever all about you. Start building your Elisha, Peter, John,  and James team. Teach them the secrets whispered to you in the cave at Mount Horeb. If you resist giving up, the seven thousand who have not bowed will come to join the fight with you.

Don’t make burnout the last chapter in your book, because the secret whispered in the cave is simply this:

“I got you. I always had you. Your greatest success will never be Mount Carmel. It will always be those you bless with a double portion of the Holy Spirit (2 Kings 2:9-10) and the legacy you pass to them because of what you learned in this cave.”

He calls you forward. The gentle whisper isn’t just a moment of comfort; it’s a call to recommit—to trust that God isn’t finished with you yet. Like Elijah, your story isn’t over.

The God who met Elijah in the whisper is waiting to meet you too.

Will you step out of the cave?

Elisha, James, John, and even Peter, need you, so show them the way to meet Jesus at Mount Horeb but that will require you to notice that burnout is not about you, it’s about learning it is never about you, and that you’re not alone. And you only feel so tired because you were not called to be the cool, tough, gritty, Lone Ranger we think leaders are. This has never been God’s plan. God doesn’t need heroes because he is the Hero. He needs leaders to build the future Elishas, James, Johns, and even Peters. It’s about recharging with those who have been there in order to charge up those who one day will go there.

It’s about the whisper, “I got you. I always had you. Your greatest success will never be Mount Carmel. It will always be those you bless with a double portion of the Holy Spirit. Staying in the cave will mean you die alone. Go forward! Elisha needs you, and you need your Elisha. Defeating burnout is a team sport.”

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Leadership When There Are No Solutions

Adaptive Change

By Pastor Vinnie MacIsaac

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Have you ever faced a problem that felt too big to solve? What do we do when we hit a wall and no amount of effort or expertise seems to fix it? How do we lead others through challenges we can’t fully grasp ourselves? When there’s no guidebook or blueprint for success–where do we turn?

Imagine you’re leading a church community, and for years, young adults have been drifting away. You’ve tried everything–new programs, social events, even hiring a youth pastor–but attendance keeps dropping. You’ve reached out to other churches, done the research, and tried all the usual strategies, but nothing addresses the core issue. Deep down, you wonder if this isn’t just about attendance. Maybe it’s about something deeper–a disconnect between the church’s message and what young people are seeking today.

So, what do you do when there’s no easy fix? This is where adaptive change and adaptive leadership come into play. Adaptive change isn’t about applying quick fixes or “technical solutions.” Instead, it invites us to slow down and ask new, sometimes uncomfortable questions: How can the church truly connect with young adults today? What are they seeking in a faith community? Adaptive change means rethinking church culture, opening space for genuine, honest conversations, and reimagining approaches. It requires new perspectives, humility, and, most of all, a willingness to grow–even when it’s hard.

By leaning into adaptive change, churches can experiment with fresh approaches, listen deeply, and build a community that resonates with people in ways traditional methods might miss.

You know it’s time for adaptive change when your technical fixes don’t work. In other words, if hiring an expert, reading a book, or following a YouTube video could solve the problem, you would do it. But when no known solutions exist, even among experts, it’s time to engage in the process of adaptive leadership. Adaptive change is created by building adaptive capacity and enhancing relationships.

What Is Adaptive Change, and Why Does It Matter?

Adaptive change is a strategic approach for leaders and organizations facing complex problems that can’t be solved with existing tools or knowledge. It’s about walking a path of discovery together, asking tough questions, and allowing space for growth–even when it challenges us.

The concept of adaptive change was developed by Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky at Harvard University. In their book Leadership Without Easy Answers, they introduced adaptive leadership as a way to tackle big problems by helping people wrestle with deeper issues. Heifetz famously said, “Leadership is about disappointing your own people at a rate they can absorb.” It’s about asking challenging questions and allowing room for honest growth.

Skilled leaders build adaptive capacity by demonstrating competency in technical fixes. When an expert knows what to do, these leaders study or engage that expert and implement necessary actions. Building competency within an organization prepares leaders for times when they must navigate uncharted territory. Sometimes, technical fixes and expert opinions are insufficient; leaders must invent new paths, not just new on-ramps. Adaptive capacity enables leaders to address complex challenges through adaptive problem-solving.

Why Adaptive Change Is Essential for Church Leadership Today

Adaptive change has become essential for churches navigating a fast-changing world. Churches are often caught between tradition and the shifting needs of the people they serve. Today’s churches face complex challenges–how to engage younger generations, embrace diversity, and respond to social issues. These challenges can’t be solved with “one-size-fits-all” solutions.

Key leaders in church leadership–like Carey Nieuwhof, Reggie McNeal, Thom Rainer, and Tod Bolsinger–emphasize that adaptive change is essential for the future of the church.

• Tod Bolsinger, author of Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory, compares the church’s journey to the expedition of Lewis and Clark: “You keep looking around, and all you see are mountains. It doesn’t mean you’re lost; it just means you’re somewhere you’ve never been before.” Bolsinger encourages church leaders to adapt and keep moving forward even when they don’t have all the answers.

• Reggie McNeal, a church consultant, calls on churches to shift from an “institutional” mindset to a “mission-focused” one. In Missional Renaissance, he writes, “The most important shifts a church can make are not institutional but missional.” McNeal reminds us that the church’s mission isn’t about maintaining the status quo; it’s about serving and meeting people where they are.

• Carey Nieuwhof, a respected voice in church leadership, believes adaptive change is crucial if churches want to stay relevant, especially for younger generations. He encourages open conversations about burnout, creativity, and renewal, seeing adaptive change as the key to church growth.

• Thom Rainer, CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources, has dedicated much of his work to church health. In his blog Growing Healthy Churches Together, he calls for adaptive leadership to address real-life struggles like declining attendance and inclusivity, urging leaders to create safe, welcoming spaces that meet people’s needs.

The Limits of Technical Change in Today’s Churches

Sometimes, churches turn to technical fixes to solve deeper issues, only to find they don’t quite get where they need to go. Here are two examples that show the limits of technical solutions in church settings:

1. Engagement Through Technology: Many churches have adopted livestreams, social media, and apps to reach more people, especially younger members. While these tools can increase accessibility, they don’t address the core reasons some young people feel disconnected from church life. Adaptive change would mean asking how we can make church life more meaningful and address the real challenges young people face today.

2. Diversity and Inclusion: Some churches have added multilingual services or cultural groups to reflect their communities’ diversity. But if we want true inclusivity, we have to go deeper. Adaptive change calls us to look at our own biases, reshape traditions, and create a place where everyone feels they belong.

How Adaptive Change Can Strengthen Church Communities

Adaptive change encourages churches to look within and ask, How can we be true to our mission, even if it means trying something new? It creates room for resilience, collaboration, and community–a place where people feel they’re seen and valued.

Churches that embrace adaptive change are more likely to develop fresh approaches, reach new people, and stay relevant. When we look at our challenges with honesty and are open to growth, we make room for God to work in ways we may not have expected.

Simple Steps to Start Adaptive Change in Church Leadership

If adaptive change sounds daunting, know that it starts with small steps–just opening a door or starting a conversation. Here are some practical ways to begin:

1. Listen with Openness: Start by truly listening to your congregation, especially those who might feel unheard. Create spaces where people feel free to share their thoughts and needs. This will help you understand what’s really needed.

2. Invite Diverse Perspectives: Make it a priority to include diverse voices. Encourage people from different backgrounds to share their insights. This will open your eyes to new possibilities and bring in fresh ideas.

3. Ask Big Questions: Instead of asking how to “fix” an issue, start with questions like, “What are we missing?” or “How can we serve in a way that truly reflects God’s love?” Adaptive change begins with questions that get to the heart of the matter.

4. Experiment, and Embrace the Journey: Adaptive change means trying new things, even if it’s messy. Each experiment brings us closer to meaningful change.

5. Stay Purpose-Driven: Shift the focus from maintaining programs to embracing the church’s mission. Ask, “How does this help us live out our mission?” When each step is rooted in purpose, the community feels it.

6. Build Relationships that Support Growth: Foster connections within the congregation. Encourage small groups, mentorships, and friendships that empower people to support each other. This creates a resilient, adaptable community.

Embracing the Path of Adaptive Change

Adaptive change is more than a strategy; it’s a journey of faith that church leaders and members take together. It’s the willingness to ask hard questions, to grow in unexpected ways, and to become a church that reflects God’s love and grace in a world that desperately needs it.

There will always be times as you lead when there no known fixes for your problems and that is exactly when you are called to lead with adaptive compacity. Are you ready to start this journey of adaptive change in church leadership? Begin with one step–whether it’s inviting someone into a conversation, taking a risk on a new idea, or opening yourself to listen with fresh ears. As you explore new possibilities, you’ll find others ready to join you in building a church that listens, adapts, and grows in love and purpose. Let’s move forward in faith, trusting that God can work through our questions and lead us into transformation together.

Appendix: Insightful Reading to Learn the Basics of Adaptive Leadership

1. “Adaptive Church: Collaboration and Community in Mission” by Dwight J. Zscheile

This book emphasizes the need for collaboration and innovation within church communities, focusing on how congregations can adapt to cultural changes and engage meaningfully with their surroundings.

2. “Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory” by Tod Bolsinger

Bolsinger applies adaptive leadership concepts to ministry, guiding leaders in navigating unfamiliar challenges in the church, and equipping them to lead in a rapidly changing cultural landscape.

3. “Leading Change” by John P. Kotter

A classic in change management, Kotter’s book outlines an eight-step process for leading organizational change, focusing on the human factors necessary for sustainable transformation.

4. “Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive Through the Dangers of Leading” by Ronald A. Heifetz and Marty Linsky

This foundational book on adaptive leadership highlights the personal and professional risks of leading change and offers strategies for navigating the challenges of difficult leadership roles.

5. “Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard” by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Combining insights from psychology and organizational change, this book helps leaders understand how to create lasting change by addressing both the rational and emotional elements of change resistance.

6. “Tempered Resilience: How Leaders Are Formed in the Crucible of Change” by Tod Bolsinger

This book explores the development of resilience in leaders facing adaptive challenges, particularly in church contexts, and emphasizes the character formation needed to lead through intense change.

7. “The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation” by Jim Wilder and Michel Hendricks

Integrating brain science with spiritual growth, this book provides insights into how churches can foster real transformation by understanding the brain’s role in relationships and discipleship.

8. “The Practice of Adaptive Leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World” by Ronald A. Heifetz, Alexander Grashow, and Marty Linsky

Offering practical tools and tactics, this book is a hands-on guide to fostering adaptive change, helping leaders develop the skills necessary to lead effectively in complex environments.

This list serves as an excellent starting point for anyone interested in understanding the fundamentals of adaptive leadership and its application in both organizational and religious contexts.

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Change Cycles: Can Churches and Leaders Grow Together?

By Vinnie MacIsaac | November 2024

LISTEN: Click here for Pastor Vinnie’s narration if you’d rather listen to this article. 

Imagine sitting in a worship service, surrounded by familiar faces, singing your favorite songs, and soaking in the comforting vibe of cherished traditions. Suddenly, your pastor steps onto the stage, quoting statistics and talking about the decline in church attendance[i]. He confronts you with the reality that the Christian church in America is in serious decline. Then, he announces a new direction for the church—a shift that challenges everything familiar. For many church members, change stirs deep-seated anxiety and resistance, as it disrupts long-held practices and routines. For pastors and church leaders, however, change feels urgent—an essential step to keep the church vibrant and faithful in a rapidly evolving world.

Both perspectives are real, valid, and filled with passion. Change is challenging, yet essential. It’s not about seeking comfort but pursuing growth, health, and, above all, loyalty to Jesus. The Church Change Cycle framework presents five distinct phases (0-4) that churches typically experience when adapting to change. Each phase highlights the characteristics, challenges, and leadership focus needed to move the church community from resistance to active participation and co-ownership of the church’s mission.

Phase 0: Stagnation – No Transformative Cycles

In this initial phase, the church shows signs of decline or stagnation, potentially even facing closure due to a lack of movement and adaptation. Todd Bolsinger captures this in Canoeing the Mountains, saying, “Nothing in God’s creation was designed to stay the same. Change is inevitable; growth is optional.” When a church resists change, it risks losing its mission, purpose, and vibrancy. Just as in nature, what doesn’t move forward will eventually wither and die.

In stagnant churches, phrases like “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” or “We’ve never done it that way before” become walls that block fresh ideas and prevent innovation. This resistance keeps the church stuck in the past, hindering growth.

Leadership Focus: Leaders must first recommit to the purpose and mission of the church, realigning with Jesus and seeking His guidance. Leadership may need to evolve or step aside, as clinging to comfort can inhibit the church’s potential. Jim Collins emphasizes this in Good to Great, stating, “Good is the enemy of great.” Leaders who settle for “good enough” may stifle the church’s journey toward greatness.

Reflection: If your church feels stagnant, ask yourself, “Are we maintaining comfort at the expense of what’s truly life-giving? Where is God calling us to grow, even if it challenges our current comfort?”

Phase 1: Resistance to Change

In this phase, members resist new ideas, challenge leaders, and cling to the familiar, often out of fear of losing control. While some members recognize the need for growth, they may prioritize maintaining control over embracing the church’s future.

For example, introducing a new fellowship area or coffee space may be viewed as a threat to tradition rather than a welcoming gesture for newcomers. Misunderstandings about the intent behind such changes often lead to heightened resistance.

Leadership Focus: Building trust is crucial. Leaders need to demonstrate competency and reliability while encouraging open dialogue. Listening to concerns doesn’t prevent change but shows respect for members’ voices. In A Failure of Nerve, Edwin Friedman advises, “A leader must remain calm, connected, and confident when others are anxious and reactive.” Leaders must also align changes with the church’s mission, helping members see a shared purpose.

Reflection: For members resisting change, consider, “What fears are driving this resistance?” For leaders, ask, “How can I honor these fears while guiding the church toward necessary growth?”

Phase 2: Tentative Buy-In

In this phase, members begin to release their resistance, albeit tentatively. They offer limited trust to leadership, allowing small adjustments but still holding back from full engagement. This cautious acceptance signals budding trust but lacks enthusiastic investment.

This phase can be frustrating for leaders, as members agree with the need for change but remain passively supportive, adopting a “wait-and-see” attitude. Disconnection from the larger vision often hinders deeper involvement.

Leadership Focus: Leaders must articulate a clear and compelling vision. Carey Nieuwhof writes in Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges, “People want to follow a leader who has a clear vision and knows where they’re going.” Leaders should highlight the big picture, helping members understand that the mission is greater than individual preferences. Todd Bolsinger, in Canoeing the Mountains, echoes this: “Leadership is taking people where they need to go, not where they want to go.”

Consistent communication is essential to maintain momentum. Leaders can build gradual engagement by offering manageable ways for members to participate, fostering ownership and direction. Developing people at this stage involves investing in future leaders and modeling vision-driven direction.

Reflection: Leaders, consider how you can make the vision clearer and more inspiring. Members, ask yourself, “Are you willing to let go of personal preferences for a purpose that serves the greater good?”

Phase 3: Invested Understanding

At this stage, members actively support the need for change. They experience a shift in perspective, recognizing how these adjustments benefit the church as a whole. With this invested understanding, members are eager to contribute to positive transformation, yet they rely on leadership to organize and implement changes.

Enthusiasm for immediate results may sometimes outpace leadership’s ability to respond, leading to frustration if expectations for rapid change aren’t met. Brian Moss captures this sentiment in Dream Church, noting, “People don’t mind change as much as they mind loss.” Miscommunication or unmet expectations can spark frustration, often directed at leadership.

Leadership Focus: Leaders should communicate transparently, keeping members informed about plans, timelines, and challenges to manage expectations and maintain trust. Balancing enthusiasm with patience is key. Ronald Heifetz, in Leadership on the Line, reminds us, “The hard work of leadership involves giving people hope while also being realistic.” Empowering co-creation by involving members in solution-building reinforces collaboration while integrating feedback shows that members’ voices are essential in shaping the church’s future.

Reflection: Leaders, can you invite members to be co-creators in this journey? Members, ask yourself, “What talents or insights can I contribute to our shared transformation?”

Phase 4: Full Buy-In and Independent Initiative

In the final phase, members fully embrace change and actively initiate new projects and solutions. They operate as co-creators, working alongside leadership to advance the church’s mission. Their commitment extends beyond mere acceptance—they independently innovate and implement changes that benefit the whole community.

One challenge here is that new members may struggle to find their place within this cohesive environment. While well-intentioned, their integration may inadvertently disrupt established workflows as they adapt.

Leadership Focus: Leaders should focus on promoting an inclusive culture, creating pathways for new members to feel welcomed and connected to the church’s mission. Carey Nieuwhof, in his podcast, emphasizes, “People crave belonging before they believe.” Recognizing members’ contributions fosters a culture of appreciation while encouraging ongoing innovation empowers the community to collaborate effectively. As Edwin Friedman notes in A Failure of Nerve, “Leadership is essentially about influence and helping others go where they wouldn’t otherwise go.”

Reflection: Leaders, how can you foster a culture where everyone feels empowered? Members, consider how you can support and encourage others in their roles to create an environment where everyone thrives.

The Path Forward for Churches Embracing Change

Navigating change within the church is a journey filled with challenges, but each phase in the Church Change Cycle provides a roadmap. This framework reminds us that while change can be difficult, it is often essential for growth, health, and loyalty to Jesus’ mission for His church. Ideally, your church is not at Phase 0, but the reality is that many churches in North America may find themselves there. As you progress through Phases 0 to 4, you will face radical challenges and changes, but the reward is growth and thriving together.

However, after reaching Phase 4, a critical decision looms. As Todd Bolsinger says, “Nothing in God’s creation was designed to stay the same. Change is inevitable; growth is optional.” You cannot remain at Phase 4 indefinitely. You will either return to Phase 1, beginning the cycle anew, or risk stagnating in Phase 0. The choice is clear: embrace reinvention and growth, or risk decline. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life—choose life, choose growth, and keep moving forward.

With Jesus, church members and leaders can navigate the cycles of change together, building a thriving, faith-filled, ever-evolving community.

Endnotes:

[i] According to a 2019 Pew study, the percentage of Americans identifying as Christians dropped from 77% in 2009 to 65% in 2019. During the same period, the percentage of those identifying as religiously unaffiliated (often referred to as “nones”) rose from 17% to 26%. Further research by the Barna Group in 2020 found that church attendance (both in-person and online) has also declined, with one in three practicing Christians (about 32%) having stopped attending church altogether during the COVID-19 pandemic. This suggests a significant shift in church engagement that may have long-term implications for the church’s future in North America. These statistics underscore the urgency for churches to adapt, as they face changing cultural attitudes, increasing secularization, and new challenges in engaging communities in meaningful ways.

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The Pastor And You.

By Pastor Vinnie MacIsaac

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What Your Pastor Will Never Tell You:

Few people have a job like your pastor. It is the best job in the world. They are paid to pray, study, and preach. They are paid to care for and serve others. They are paid to be moral individuals. And they are reminded, nearly daily, by someone, someplace, somehow, that they belong to you and not to God, because someone reminds them that your tithe pays for their existence.

This article is one piece of the puzzle on how pastors and members can work together. It’s not a defense of bad pastors or toxic leaders; rather, it is intended to address and promote healthy pastor-member relations.

“They live in a bubble of expected parameters and are continuously measured by members, visitors, and denominational supervisors alike. They are judged not only by their own actions but also by the actions of their family members. They are judged by their appearance, dress, public persona, temperament, social graces, place of residence, mode of transportation, dietary choices, media consumption, and even their preferred Bible translation. It is important to understand that pastors are called, not created. Your pastor stands in the pulpit most weeks not because they simply decided to, but because God brought them to it, often against their own better judgment. They are not inherently gifted in public speaking or being local celebrity personalities. They are not closer to God or less sinful than anyone else. In fact, they are just like you – broken, imperfect, and seeking salvation, love, and relevance. They share the same undeniable call on their lives as you do. Like Jonah, they may have tried to run from their ministry at some point but ultimately failed. Now, they serve you because, above all else, they do not want to let Jesus down.”

_______

“They above all things, don’t want to let Jesus down.”

_______

Oh! I know. Some of you may be saying, “Not my pastor. My pastor is intentionally bad. He or she simply does not care and is a control freak, bully, fake, and lazy drain on the church.” [Yes, sadly, some people do speak of their pastor in this way]. If this is your pastor, and I acknowledge that there are indeed bad pastors out there, then please understand that your pastor is broken, beaten, and bruised. They are trapped, defeated, and miserable. No pastor wants to live life like that, as it crushes them with the guilt of failing God. If this describes your pastor, then your pastor is in trouble. They could be in danger of losing their job, family, and even their eternal life. Please understand that your pastor may need your love, care, support, and resources while they heal so that they can better care for you. Also, remember that your pastor is a member of your church too. The church should care for all its members, even the one they expect the most from – the pastor.

Why Some Pastor’s Struggle:

Carey Nieuwhof is a much sought-after Church leadership expert, and founder of one of the most influential Churches in North America, Connexus Church. Nieuwhof says Pastoral burnout was the darkest moment of his life.

“Seven years ago, I entered into the darkest period of my life. I found the edge, and as I was falling, I knew that I realized this time I couldn’t pull myself back. I could get out of bed every day, and I did. I kept praying and reading my bible. But my speed decreased to a snail’s pace. And hope felt like it had died. My motivation and passion dropped to zero.” [1]

Was Carey Nieuwhof a bad pastor? Lazy? A closet sinner? No. He went on to build one the healthiest churches on the Continent! So what happened? He tells us.

“In caring for others, I had not adequately cared for my heart or soul, or let others, who wanted to care for it, do so.”[2]

Sometimes, pastors simply give to the point where they have nothing left to give. Every battery dies if not re-charged. Maybe you met your pastor after they maxed out their output and simply no one has yet assisted them to recharge.

Acclaimed Christian author and CEO of LifeWay, Thoms Rainer, in his blog, “Growing Healthy Churches Together”, says he believes many pastors are literally depressed. His list of causes goes like this;

1. Spiritual warfare

2. The reality of the “underbelly” of pastoral leadership

3. A sense of inadequacy

4. Critics and bullies

5. Loneliness

He not only seeks to educate the local church members on the dangers that pastors face from depression, but he also assumes that most pastors struggle with it. He urges church members and staff to directly, and defensively, pray for pastors to overcome it.

“Depression is real with pastors. It seems to be pervasive. May we who serve alongside them, staff and laity alike, take a few minutes a day to pray for our pastors.”[4]

Philip Wagner, the Lead Pastor of Oasis Christian Center, a multi-cultural, multi-generational church, lists Pastoral work among the 4^th hardest jobs in America. His list goes like this;

1. The President of the United States

2. A university president

3. A CEO of a hospital and

4. A pastor

He claims his research shows that;

“Seventy percent (of pastors) say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.”[5]

According to his article on Churchleaders.com, he lists criticism, rejection, betrayal, the loneliness of the occupation, weariness (fatigue), frustrations, and disappointments as the hidden pains all pastors are forced to carry, robbing their effectiveness in ministry.

Brent Prentice, the Lead Pastor of Eagle Heights, observes in his article, that in most churches, the Pastor has no pastor.

“I was on my way home from the last meeting of those five nights when I first asked myself the question, “Who pastors the pastor?” The next evening, I ended up in the emergency room with an angry appendix.”[6]

Not only does the pastor have no pastor, but their family, spouse, and children also have no pastor. Do we expect them to pastor their own family as well? Does spending evenings at home with their family count as pastoral ministry hours now? I doubt it, in the minds of most church members and even pastors. However, it’s worth considering. Have we thought about what we’re doing? We leave the most influential members of our churches without any pastoral care for themselves or their family, expecting them to be spiritually flawless, moral, and positive while delivering great sermons and growing difficult churches. And then we have the audacity to wonder why churches don’t grow and pastors burn out? It’s a shame.

_______

“Stop and give that thought…We leave the most influential member of our churches without any pastoral care…and wonder why churches don’t grow. Shame. Shame.”

_______

What You Can Do To Help:

I am so glad you asked! The solution is quite simple: love your pastor, embrace their ministry, and listen to their ideas, even if you disagree. Sometimes, being heard is all people require. But most of all, give your pastor permission to be human. Respect them as highly trained and educated professionals, and valued members of your community.

God did not call pastors to give until it kills them; they are called to be Christ-like, not to be the Christ. If your pastor is tired or in need of a break, give them verbal permission to skip an event. Affirm their need to go off and be with their family or have outside interests. If you are a board member, elder, or deacon, insist that they take their vacations and days off. If they refuse, you should take them out and do non-work related fun things with them in order to help them relax. Your pastor, for several pragmatic reasons and past experiences, may limit the closeness of your friendship. However, if you build a bond with your pastor, never betray their trust or confidentiality, or stab them in the back. Nothing destroys ministry like having someone you love and trust hurt you. It is always okay to disagree with a pastor. Disagreement is not betrayal; in fact, it is proof of a healthy relationship. I am talking about betraying their trust and not respecting them as a person enough to discuss and inform them of disagreement; that is where the hurt comes from.

_______

“The solution is quite simple. Love your pastor. Embrace their ministry. Listen to their ideas.”

_______

Advocate for them to have a pastoral figure to minister to them and their family. Lobby your board or denomination to provide pastoral care for the pastor and their family, even if it has to be contracted out. Have you considered contracting with another pastor or counselor in town to be a caregiver to your pastor? While it may not be ideal because of the need to share candidly and personally with one’s pastor, if no other resource can be found or afforded, have the elders, deacons, or even yourself give regular spiritual care to your pastor and their family. They, too, have needs that should be ministered to. Lastly, mark October on your calendar and never forget that it is Pastoral Appreciation Month. While your schedule is open, add their birthday, their spouse’s birthday, and Christmas as well. Gifts, money, and tokens are not required or expected, but heartfelt love, respect, and appreciation are.

 Build Pastors That Last:

As you build a relationship with your pastor, it’s important to be aware of their personal needs . For example, members who only say “Nice sermon” at the door but don’t seem to apply the message in their lives can be hurtful. Additionally, volunteers who consistently let down the church and the pastor by not fulfilling their commitments can be damaging to the local church and the cause of Jesus. It’s also difficult when members only see the pastor as a plumber, IT tech, or other role, instead of recognizing them as a caring professional, theologian, and leader. When friends fail to realize their actions can deeply impact the pastor, it takes time with God to heal. It’s important to remember that a pastor is not just a title, but a child of God. So, even in the most remote settings, their title remains their name. Let’s remember to treat our pastors with respect and recognize their humanity.

In the past, I had a pastor who shared some valuable guidance. Whenever people would voice their complaints about our church, he would respond with, “If you ever come across the perfect church, don’t join it. Because once you do, it will no longer be perfect!” This was truly wise advice. However, I want to offer a different perspective: “When you encounter the perfect pastor, don’t invite them to your imperfect church. Doing so will only hurt them, scare them, and make them imperfect, just like you.” As a final thought, I urge you to pray for your pastor and treat them with kindness. And if you struggle to do so, remember to pray for yourself, as it shows that your pastor’s prayers for you are not effective.

Appendix

The Perfect Pastor

By an Anonymous Author

The perfect pastor preaches for exactly 10 minutes.

He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone’s feelings.

He works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor.

The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church.

He is 29 years old and has 40 years of experience.

Above all, he is handsome.

The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with senior citizens.

He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church.

He makes 15 home visits a day and is always in his office to be handy when needed.

The perfect pastor always has time for the church council and all of its committees.

He never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.

The perfect pastor is always in the next church over! There is no Perfect pastor, in your church unless you build one!

———

Footnotes

[1] https://careynieuwhof.com/9-signs-youre-burning-out-in-leadership

[2] Ibid.

[3] What local church life is really like when the preaching is finished.

[4] https://thomrainer.com/2018/02/five-reasons-many-pastors-struggle-depression/

[5] https://churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/167379-philip-wagner-secret-pain-of-pastors.html

[6] https://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/who-pastors-the-pastor

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Church In Recession

Is This Your End?

By Vinnie MacIsaac

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Every so often, an economic recession comes to our great nation. Recently, we have had some. Recessions in our economy can quickly snowball into depressions. Thank God (yes, literally), we have dodged that bullet for a long time now, even if not by much at times, recently. But let’s talk about how recessions get started and why they are so hard to stop! The way it happens is when a recession is even hinted at hitting, people stop spending, stop buying, and stop trusting the market. The problem with that is the lady in the morning at the coffee shop you stop by needs her job to pay her rent. So, when you cut back, she gets laid off (fewer coffee workers are required), and when she gets laid off, she does not pay her rent. When her rent is not paid, her landlord can’t pay the mortgage, and the bank forecloses. Now, the former landlord can’t buy his morning coffee, and even fewer coffee workers are needed. At the same time, property values keep dropping, people start panicking, and it keeps snowballing. It is not all that simple, and the economy will not collapse because you give up coffee, but the basic idea is that when you pull back from a broken system, you make the broken system worse for yourself and others.

The same is true for the church. When a church enters a spiritual recession, as all churches sometimes do, and the members start cutting back on their spiritual investments, the economy of saving souls and making dynamic disciples for Jesus heads towards a massive depression. It can quickly become bleak. When a church falls into difficult times, it becomes evident by the number of people who jump ship. Every pastor is known for that one saying they continually repeat that may annoy everyone, but they refuse to stop saying it until the congregation “gets it.” Well, I am a pastor, and I have one of those sayings, and it goes like this: God is a million times wiser than the most prudent banker on Wall Street. God’s economy works like this:

“When it is a safe investment, God invests his most treasured resources (people) into the church, and when it is a bad investment, he gets them out of there before the crash comes.”

Is your church headed for a recession or worse, yet, depression? Should you stay or should you go?

Is your church headed for a recession or, worse yet, a depression? Should you stay or should you go? Here are some suggestions to help you if you are facing such a battle.

1. No, don’t go! They need you! You can’t leave them at a time like this! Yes, I know I just said that God pulls people out when it is a bad investment, but guess what? You’re not God. So, unless He says “Go!”, He has you there for a reason. Yes, I know John the Baptist said, “I must decrease so He can increase,” but that is not what he meant!

2. Get out and do it now! Wow, we’re only on number 2 and I’m already contradicting myself. But I have lived it. I was once in a church where I thought everyone else was the problem, not me. If that happens to you, chances are you’re the problem! God moved me, and I ended up planting a church with a group of like-minded believers and many souls were saved. Oh, in case you missed it, the point was that God moved me. Don’t leave a church that is in trouble unless God clearly calls you to another church that really needs your help even more.

3. Step it up and shake it up! Our tendency in sick churches is to step back, move away, and come less. But guess what? That is why they are sick! Why not try something new? Invest more, but maybe in completely different ways and ministries.

4. Pray for people to leave. I know, I know; this again sounds like a contradiction. But it is perfectly in line with #1 and #2. You should not move, nor cause others to move, but God can. You don’t even have to know who He is doing it to (no, you can’t make suggestions). Why not pray, “God, if there are people who refuse to heed your mission, impress it upon their heart three times as much as ever before. However, if they refuse and they continue to attack your mission, please send them elsewhere so they can be happier.” Warning, if you’re the problem person and don’t know it, this prayer could still work.

5. Pray for the right people to come. The church is too often already filled with unconverted seculars and cultural Christians. Pray for God to bring you these three key groups of people: a) Mature believers who are utterly sold out in love to God and his mission; pray for b) young believers or seeking nonbelievers who will come and be transformed by the gospel, c) those who are mature in their faith and can disciple others, and d) those who have a heart for evangelism and reaching the lost. Young families who will come and grow and become pillars of the church. Those who are hurting and broken and need the love and healing that only Jesus can offer. Above all, trust in God’s plan for your church and pray for His guidance. He has you there for a reason.

6. 

   Eat more… I mean it, and I mean it. Invite people from your church to eat with you more. Invite them out to a restaurant on Saturday night. Get together and have decaf Starbucks. The early Christian church ate together daily. We barely see each other weekly, and then, only in one context (worship) and we are then expected to love one another. Yeah, that is not likely unless we spend more personal time with each other. Nothing breaks up a good church squabble like a pan of hot chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven (unless you’re fighting over health reform). Seriously though, eating together is a time of intimacy that aids the Brotherhood connection in churches.

7. Take a break. Yes, I said break, not a departure, unless #2 applies to you. But sometimes we all get burnt out and contribute to the low morale. Take a break – not many breaks, not breaks on and off all the time – just one break for one week, or a maximum of two weeks. Rest up and come back knowing you are ready to practice the steps above.

Jesus said it best, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34) If all churches followed this command, they would not be dead. If your church does not follow this, why not let it start with you? Your spiritual recession may end when you start spending spiritually again and jump-start the economy of the church! At the end of the day, this ship belongs to Jesus. Be careful how you treat it, and most certainly what you say about it. Don’t jump ship. Dump your doubt so you can know you are not part of the problem.

Are you ready to jump-start your church’s spiritual economy and help prevent a spiritual recession or even a depression? Take action today by investing more spiritually, praying for the right people to come, and showing love and unity to your fellow church members. Remember, this ship belongs to Jesus and with His guidance, we can turn things around. Don’t give up or jump ship, instead, let’s work together to make our church a place where love and unity thrive. It starts with you!

Church Recessions – The danger is real and a killer.

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