Seeing Others Like Jesus:

The Power Of Pause

By Pastor Vinnie 

Seeing others like Jesus means to pause and look to Jesus to guide my emotions

Let me be real for a moment—people sometimes assume I have life figured out. I’m a husband, a father, and a theologian. From the outside, it seems like I should have it all together. I spend my days studying Jesus’ life, trying to understand how to live like Him. But here’s the truth: I struggle. A lot.

There are days when it feels like I’m pulled in a hundred different directions, barely holding on. One evening, in particular, stands out. I came home feeling mentally drained, my head full of work deadlines and family responsibilities. The moment I walked in the door, my wife snapped at me over something small. Instantly, frustration flared. I felt the urge to snap back, to let the tension rise.

But something inside whispered, “Pause.”

I took a breath. Instead of reacting, I asked myself, “What’s really going on here?” In that pause, I realized my wife wasn’t angry at me—she was overwhelmed. Just like I was. That moment of empathy changed everything. What could have turned into a heated argument became a moment of connection. I went from hearing her words to understanding her heart.

It was then I realized something important. Emotional intelligence isn’t about pushing down emotions or pretending to be calm. It’s about recognizing what’s really happening inside—both in myself and in the people around me. And I realized this is how Jesus lived: seeing beyond the surface and connecting with people’s hearts.

The Disconnect We All Feel

Even though I spend my life studying faith, I often feel disconnected—like I’m just going through the motions. Do you ever feel that way? Surrounded by people, yet unseen? It’s easy to feel like no one is really paying attention, but then I ask myself the hard question: How often do I fail to see the people around me?

We all carry so much—work stress, personal worries, and relationships that feel strained. It’s easy to rush through the day and miss what’s happening with the people in front of us. But what if we slowed down? What if we paused and asked, “What’s going on beneath the surface?”

Daniel Goleman, an expert on emotional intelligence, said, “In a very real sense, we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.” Jesus understood this perfectly. He didn’t just hear people’s words—He felt their pain. That’s what I want for my life too, but I wonder, Am I missing it?

How Jesus Modeled Emotional Intelligence

Jesus as He reaches out to touch and heal the man with leprosy. It reflects the deep emotional connection and love that Jesus shows to those in need.

There’s a story from scripture that always hits me hard. It’s about the man with leprosy who approached Jesus. Most people only saw the man’s disease. He was shunned, isolated, and abandoned. But Jesus? He saw more.

Mark 1:41 says, “Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man.” That touch wasn’t just about curing a disease. It was about healing the man’s heart. Jesus saw his emotional wounds and responded with love, while others looked away.

This challenges me. When someone lashes out or shuts down, do I stop to consider what’s really going on with them? Or do I let my own frustrations get in the way of seeing their pain? How often do I miss opportunities to bring healing because I’m too focused on my own reaction?

Simon Sinek put it best: “Empathy is being concerned about the human being, not just their output.” Jesus lived that truth every day. I want to live that way too, but it’s hard.

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters 

Here’s what I’ve learned: Emotional intelligence doesn’t just help others. It transforms me. It helps me in seeing others like Jesus. When I stop trying to fix problems or control situations and instead focus on connecting with people, something shifts inside me. I feel more peace. More patience.

I’ve seen this in my relationships. When I take the time to really listen to my wife, my kids, or even my coworkers, everything changes. The tension eases. Conversations become more meaningful. Suddenly, I’m not seeing them as challenges—I’m seeing them as people who need understanding.

But it’s not always easy. There are plenty of moments when I look back and think, How could that moment have gone differently if I had just paused? If I had taken a breath and asked, “What’s really happening here?” Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” Emotional intelligence helps me connect with those who are hurting. It allows me to offer presence, empathy, and healing—just as Jesus did.

A Step Toward Living Like Jesus

It’s time to take steps to be like Jesus

Here’s what I’m starting to understand: Living like Jesus isn’t about how much scripture I know or how often I go to church. It’s about how I treat the people in my life every day. Emotional intelligence is a huge part of that. If I am going to see others like Jesus did I’ll need a plan. So, here’s my plan: The next time I find myself in a tense moment—whether with my wife, my kids, or a colleague—I’m going to pause. I’ll ask myself, “What’s really going on here? What might this person be feeling?”

I’ve seen it before—that one pause can change everything. I’m convinced this is how Jesus lived. He didn’t rush to judgment. He paused, saw people’s hearts, and responded with love. That kind of love can change my life—and yours too.

If I’m honest, I crave deeper connections. I long for relationships that matter and a life full of purpose. Emotional intelligence has been the key to unlocking that for me. It’s helped me see others as Jesus did—not as problems to fix, but as people who need love and understanding.

So, here’s the question for both of us: Will you pause? Will you take that moment to reflect? Will you choose to live like Jesus in your interactions? The people in my life—my family, my friends, and the people I care about—are waiting for someone to really see them. I want to be that person. Will you?

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