The Pastor And You.

By Pastor Vinnie MacIsaac

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What Your Pastor Will Never Tell You:

Few people have a job like your pastor. It is the best job in the world. They are paid to pray, study, and preach. They are paid to care for and serve others. They are paid to be moral individuals. And they are reminded, nearly daily, by someone, someplace, somehow, that they belong to you and not to God, because someone reminds them that your tithe pays for their existence.

This article is one piece of the puzzle on how pastors and members can work together. It’s not a defense of bad pastors or toxic leaders; rather, it is intended to address and promote healthy pastor-member relations.

“They live in a bubble of expected parameters and are continuously measured by members, visitors, and denominational supervisors alike. They are judged not only by their own actions but also by the actions of their family members. They are judged by their appearance, dress, public persona, temperament, social graces, place of residence, mode of transportation, dietary choices, media consumption, and even their preferred Bible translation. It is important to understand that pastors are called, not created. Your pastor stands in the pulpit most weeks not because they simply decided to, but because God brought them to it, often against their own better judgment. They are not inherently gifted in public speaking or being local celebrity personalities. They are not closer to God or less sinful than anyone else. In fact, they are just like you – broken, imperfect, and seeking salvation, love, and relevance. They share the same undeniable call on their lives as you do. Like Jonah, they may have tried to run from their ministry at some point but ultimately failed. Now, they serve you because, above all else, they do not want to let Jesus down.”

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“They above all things, don’t want to let Jesus down.”

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Oh! I know. Some of you may be saying, “Not my pastor. My pastor is intentionally bad. He or she simply does not care and is a control freak, bully, fake, and lazy drain on the church.” [Yes, sadly, some people do speak of their pastor in this way]. If this is your pastor, and I acknowledge that there are indeed bad pastors out there, then please understand that your pastor is broken, beaten, and bruised. They are trapped, defeated, and miserable. No pastor wants to live life like that, as it crushes them with the guilt of failing God. If this describes your pastor, then your pastor is in trouble. They could be in danger of losing their job, family, and even their eternal life. Please understand that your pastor may need your love, care, support, and resources while they heal so that they can better care for you. Also, remember that your pastor is a member of your church too. The church should care for all its members, even the one they expect the most from – the pastor.

Why Some Pastor’s Struggle:

Carey Nieuwhof is a much sought-after Church leadership expert, and founder of one of the most influential Churches in North America, Connexus Church. Nieuwhof says Pastoral burnout was the darkest moment of his life.

“Seven years ago, I entered into the darkest period of my life. I found the edge, and as I was falling, I knew that I realized this time I couldn’t pull myself back. I could get out of bed every day, and I did. I kept praying and reading my bible. But my speed decreased to a snail’s pace. And hope felt like it had died. My motivation and passion dropped to zero.” [1]

Was Carey Nieuwhof a bad pastor? Lazy? A closet sinner? No. He went on to build one the healthiest churches on the Continent! So what happened? He tells us.

“In caring for others, I had not adequately cared for my heart or soul, or let others, who wanted to care for it, do so.”[2]

Sometimes, pastors simply give to the point where they have nothing left to give. Every battery dies if not re-charged. Maybe you met your pastor after they maxed out their output and simply no one has yet assisted them to recharge.

Acclaimed Christian author and CEO of LifeWay, Thoms Rainer, in his blog, “Growing Healthy Churches Together”, says he believes many pastors are literally depressed. His list of causes goes like this;

1. Spiritual warfare

2. The reality of the “underbelly” of pastoral leadership

3. A sense of inadequacy

4. Critics and bullies

5. Loneliness

He not only seeks to educate the local church members on the dangers that pastors face from depression, but he also assumes that most pastors struggle with it. He urges church members and staff to directly, and defensively, pray for pastors to overcome it.

“Depression is real with pastors. It seems to be pervasive. May we who serve alongside them, staff and laity alike, take a few minutes a day to pray for our pastors.”[4]

Philip Wagner, the Lead Pastor of Oasis Christian Center, a multi-cultural, multi-generational church, lists Pastoral work among the 4^th hardest jobs in America. His list goes like this;

1. The President of the United States

2. A university president

3. A CEO of a hospital and

4. A pastor

He claims his research shows that;

“Seventy percent (of pastors) say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.”[5]

According to his article on Churchleaders.com, he lists criticism, rejection, betrayal, the loneliness of the occupation, weariness (fatigue), frustrations, and disappointments as the hidden pains all pastors are forced to carry, robbing their effectiveness in ministry.

Brent Prentice, the Lead Pastor of Eagle Heights, observes in his article, that in most churches, the Pastor has no pastor.

“I was on my way home from the last meeting of those five nights when I first asked myself the question, “Who pastors the pastor?” The next evening, I ended up in the emergency room with an angry appendix.”[6]

Not only does the pastor have no pastor, but their family, spouse, and children also have no pastor. Do we expect them to pastor their own family as well? Does spending evenings at home with their family count as pastoral ministry hours now? I doubt it, in the minds of most church members and even pastors. However, it’s worth considering. Have we thought about what we’re doing? We leave the most influential members of our churches without any pastoral care for themselves or their family, expecting them to be spiritually flawless, moral, and positive while delivering great sermons and growing difficult churches. And then we have the audacity to wonder why churches don’t grow and pastors burn out? It’s a shame.

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“Stop and give that thought…We leave the most influential member of our churches without any pastoral care…and wonder why churches don’t grow. Shame. Shame.”

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What You Can Do To Help:

I am so glad you asked! The solution is quite simple: love your pastor, embrace their ministry, and listen to their ideas, even if you disagree. Sometimes, being heard is all people require. But most of all, give your pastor permission to be human. Respect them as highly trained and educated professionals, and valued members of your community.

God did not call pastors to give until it kills them; they are called to be Christ-like, not to be the Christ. If your pastor is tired or in need of a break, give them verbal permission to skip an event. Affirm their need to go off and be with their family or have outside interests. If you are a board member, elder, or deacon, insist that they take their vacations and days off. If they refuse, you should take them out and do non-work related fun things with them in order to help them relax. Your pastor, for several pragmatic reasons and past experiences, may limit the closeness of your friendship. However, if you build a bond with your pastor, never betray their trust or confidentiality, or stab them in the back. Nothing destroys ministry like having someone you love and trust hurt you. It is always okay to disagree with a pastor. Disagreement is not betrayal; in fact, it is proof of a healthy relationship. I am talking about betraying their trust and not respecting them as a person enough to discuss and inform them of disagreement; that is where the hurt comes from.

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“The solution is quite simple. Love your pastor. Embrace their ministry. Listen to their ideas.”

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Advocate for them to have a pastoral figure to minister to them and their family. Lobby your board or denomination to provide pastoral care for the pastor and their family, even if it has to be contracted out. Have you considered contracting with another pastor or counselor in town to be a caregiver to your pastor? While it may not be ideal because of the need to share candidly and personally with one’s pastor, if no other resource can be found or afforded, have the elders, deacons, or even yourself give regular spiritual care to your pastor and their family. They, too, have needs that should be ministered to. Lastly, mark October on your calendar and never forget that it is Pastoral Appreciation Month. While your schedule is open, add their birthday, their spouse’s birthday, and Christmas as well. Gifts, money, and tokens are not required or expected, but heartfelt love, respect, and appreciation are.

 Build Pastors That Last:

As you build a relationship with your pastor, it’s important to be aware of their personal needs . For example, members who only say “Nice sermon” at the door but don’t seem to apply the message in their lives can be hurtful. Additionally, volunteers who consistently let down the church and the pastor by not fulfilling their commitments can be damaging to the local church and the cause of Jesus. It’s also difficult when members only see the pastor as a plumber, IT tech, or other role, instead of recognizing them as a caring professional, theologian, and leader. When friends fail to realize their actions can deeply impact the pastor, it takes time with God to heal. It’s important to remember that a pastor is not just a title, but a child of God. So, even in the most remote settings, their title remains their name. Let’s remember to treat our pastors with respect and recognize their humanity.

In the past, I had a pastor who shared some valuable guidance. Whenever people would voice their complaints about our church, he would respond with, “If you ever come across the perfect church, don’t join it. Because once you do, it will no longer be perfect!” This was truly wise advice. However, I want to offer a different perspective: “When you encounter the perfect pastor, don’t invite them to your imperfect church. Doing so will only hurt them, scare them, and make them imperfect, just like you.” As a final thought, I urge you to pray for your pastor and treat them with kindness. And if you struggle to do so, remember to pray for yourself, as it shows that your pastor’s prayers for you are not effective.

Appendix

The Perfect Pastor

By an Anonymous Author

The perfect pastor preaches for exactly 10 minutes.

He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone’s feelings.

He works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor.

The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church.

He is 29 years old and has 40 years of experience.

Above all, he is handsome.

The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with senior citizens.

He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church.

He makes 15 home visits a day and is always in his office to be handy when needed.

The perfect pastor always has time for the church council and all of its committees.

He never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.

The perfect pastor is always in the next church over! There is no Perfect pastor, in your church unless you build one!

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Footnotes

[1] https://careynieuwhof.com/9-signs-youre-burning-out-in-leadership

[2] Ibid.

[3] What local church life is really like when the preaching is finished.

[4] https://thomrainer.com/2018/02/five-reasons-many-pastors-struggle-depression/

[5] https://churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/167379-philip-wagner-secret-pain-of-pastors.html

[6] https://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/who-pastors-the-pastor

The post The Pastor And You appeared first on Simply Vinnie - Unpacking The Complicated.

From Harlot to Holy

Faith Like A Prostitute 

 by Vinnie MacIsaac

Related PODCAST Below

Everyone in ministry rightfully wonders at times, am I qualified? Do I really have what it takes? Would God really accept someone like me to work for Someone like Him? Being a prayer warrior, a local church deacon or elder, or children’s coordinator, worship leader, or even a Pastor is not only hard work, but it is a sure fire way to discover your defective nature and brokenness. If you are unaware of your imperfections, people will surely educate you the second you step up into ministry

I have often wondered how Rahab knew those spies visiting her den of iniquity were really “good” Jewish boys, but answering that would be a blog of another kind for another time. The truth, regardless, is Rahab was a pagan prostitute who likely practiced prostitution solely to support herself and her family economically. According to Jewish tradition found in the rabbinic writings of the Midrash, she was so beautiful that she was considered to be among the four most beautiful women ever^[1]. Her sensuality was so intense according to the rabbis that to even say her name created lust that needed repentance^[2]. As an Amorite, she would and been polytheistic but the “Ra” of her name likely points to her being originally a worshiper of the Egyptian Sun God Ra^[3]. Which is very interesting as her story in Joshua points to her having followed the news of the God of Israel having defeated the gods of her own namesake.

In some cases, prostitution in the ancient world was not only a noble profession but within certain cultures a holy profession. It was an expression of ritual pagan beliefs, and its acts were a fulfilling of those licentious sexual rites. The temple prostitute was seen as a living sacrifice to the local goddesses of fertility ensuring the cycle of life to the community by her ritual service, but such was not likely the case with Rahab. The Hebrew word used to describe her probably rules that out. The זָנָה Zonah means common every day prostitute as opposed to the word קדשה qedesha meaning consecrated or set apart prostitute^[4]. I say this to simply make sure we understand Rahab was the bottom of the Cannonite social barrel. Her actions, even in her own culture, were low and without societal sanction. She was an outcast, a sinner, and the dregs of even pagan morality.

Unfortunately, sometimes in all religions, even Christianity, we tend to write off what we consider to be the dregs of society. We tend to label people reprobate or past redemption. Perhaps we assume they are not interested or would not want to hear what we have to say about God’s love and mercy; but not so for Rahab! Those good Jewish boys had other things on their mind than testifying for God, but that did not stop Rehab from telling them all she had heard about their God!

“For we had heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea before you when you came out of Egypt and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who were beyond the Jordan, to Sihon and Og, whom you devoted to destruction. And as soon as we heard it, our hearts melted, and there was no spirit left in any man because of you, for the Lord your God, he is God in the heavens above and on the earth beneath.” (Joshua 2:10-11)

This lowly, pagan, outcast and sinner in the arts of sensuality, was paying attention to the newsfeed of what God was doing among the nations! Even more impressive was her heart was melted by what she heard of how the God of the Hebrews had made waste of the gods of her own namesake. She was already starting to believe in power the God of Israel. How often do we judge the down and out? How often do we pass a homeless person, a troubled youth, a common city streetwalker and turn our head in shame of who we think they are? I wonder, could they not be someone who has heard rumors of our God? Might they get up, put away their sins and follow, if only there is a witness to be found, and the slightest hint of an invitation?

Please remember, these good Jewish boys would have left her to die in that city, but it was Rahab and not them, who took the first steps towards her own salvation when she hid the spies when they were being sought out by city officials to be captured and killed. It is Rahab who knowing God was both powerful enough to take her city down and merciful enough to care about her who pleaded to her Jewish guests. “Now then, please swear to me by the Lord that, as I have dealt kindly with you, you also will deal kindly with my father’s house.” Look at the faith on this girl! She pleads not just for herself, but for her father and mother, my brothers and sisters and even her whole extended family. She is a woman who is not self-focused and just looking out for herself. She is, in fact, a harlot who has hope in the Holiness of God.

It was because of the faithfulness of a common harlot that her whole family was saved.

“Behold, when we come into the land, you shall tie this scarlet cord in the window through which you let us down, and you shall gather into your house your father and mother, your brothers, and all your father’s household.” (Joshua 2:18)

And good to their word those good Jewish spies ensured Rahab and her whole family were saved when the walls of Jericho came down. The scarlet cord, a mere symbol of faith in the scarlet blood that would flow one day on the cross over Calvary, was the symbol of her redemption. Her faith not only saved herself and her whole family but it actually landed her a mention in the Hall of Fame of Faith in Hebrews 11; “By faith Rahab, the prostitute did not perish with those who were disobedient, because she had given a friendly welcome to the spies.” (Hebrews 11:31)

Moreover, it is likely her faith had a hand in saving even you. Matthew, it seems, records her as being in King David’s genealogy and thus in the lineage of Jesus himself. “Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab, Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth, Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of King David.” (Matthew 1:5-6)^[5].

Stop and think of it! If God would use a harlot like Rahab and even embed her into the genealogical claim of Jesus being the rightful ruler of the throne of David, from whom would come the very Messiah, then why can’t He use you? You may be imperfect. You may be flawed. You may be broken. You may just be exactly what God needs to show many others in the masses His grace extends even to them!

Rahab was a woman, sadly used by many men. She was often used for a burning moment of passion and then forgotten for life. But she was also a woman used once by God, with an everlasting passion that will never be forgotten. When we let people use us, they degrade and destroy us, for that is the will of fallen humanity but when we let God use us He acts in love rather than lust, and he uplifts us, cherishes us, and restores us past our ever imagined true worth! There can be no romance greater than one with Jesus. The is no greater love story than a God who knows your past but can only see your future with Him.

 Do you at least have the faith or sun worshiping prostitute? If so, Jesus can wash you. Jesus can renew you. And best of all, Jesus can use you to bring the Messiah not only into the world but into the lives of all the people around you.

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Footnotes

^[1] Along with Sarah, Abigail, and Esther

^[2] Megillah 15a

^[3] https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/all-women-bible/Rahab

^[4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacred_prostitution

^[5] Because of the abhorrence of her sin as a Harlot many of Jewish and Christian apologists have tried to discredit her as being the same Rahab however there is no real evidence past that of embarrassment for such claims.

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