Love Never Fails But Christians Can Do Better

By Pastor Vinnie

“Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:8

I did not grow up in the church. I did not see the flaws some of you have seen who were with it from childhood. I have not experienced some of the legalism you have, nor have I really been a part of a toxic church that I was not engaged in turning around. Sure, I have pastored some imperfect churches, even a couple of problematic ones. But the difference was as a pastor I could try to move them toward health.

So, I was completely unprepared for what I would find when I joined TikTok last year. Despite what you have heard about TikTok, it’s not a kids’ app. A whole lot of education happens there. There is a massive Christian community, and an equally massive atheist/ex-Christian community. Let me assure you there is no love between them. And the algorithm is designed to bring these groups smack dab into each other’s faces. I am a big boy, and more than capable of defending myself. Still, there was one thing I was not prepared for, and that is the comments of Christians on atheists’ videos. They are often mean and really fall short of the love of God. I am not saying all atheists on that app are a barrel of loving warm and fuzzies because they are not. However, when atheists tell their story of growing up in toxic homes and churches maybe we should listen?

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Spiritual abuse and spiritual trauma are real. As a former mental health worker, I feel secure in thinking I know what trauma looks like. Many of the atheist TikTok community’s videos are about spiritual trauma and abuse. Many of the stories they tell are heartbreaking but as horrifying as their stories are, there is nothing more horrifying than the comments “Christians” leave.

Consider these real comments left on videos of people talking about abuse that happened to people in the larger Christian church. (I’ve altered them a bit so you can’t trace the writers.)

• “You’re just the daughter of the devil.”

• “Enjoy hell—I hear the weather is hot there.”

• “Your [expletive] content keeps popping up in my feed.”

• “God’s plagues were made for you.”

• “Satan is evil and so are you; you will perish with him.”

• “You’re a demon.”

• “God let that happen to test you. He was right about you.”

Where is the love that never fails? What kind of Christian would leave these kinds of comments on videos of people talking about trauma that happened to them in the church? I’ll tell you: the same kind who likely gave them the trauma in the first place!

The comment section alone is enough to prove the ex-Christians, deconstructionists, and ex-evangelicals are not lying about their stories. And before you write this blog off as just being about a silly app like TikTok that you never plan to go to anyways, stop! Stop, and understand it’s not about the app. That is just the place these stories are told. They happened in everyday Christian families and churches; maybe even in your own.

What can you do?

• Love people—not just your beliefs, doctrines, and convictions.

• Believe in people and empathize with their pain.

• Don’t be a “comment section” Christian, but rather a Christian who understands that the highest level of agape is loving people who utterly reject everything you’re about—because that is how Jesus loves you.

Listen, love should not just be found in 1 Corinthians 13. It’s should be found in the comments sections too. Love is Jesus. The gospel is nothing if not a love story of God to humanity. And if love is not poured out in our congregational relationships and taught from our pulpits every week, we aren’t loving like Jesus.

Jesus never fails, because Jesus is love.

So, what’s the problem with the church? Paul tells us in that famed love chapter: we refuse to put away our childish ways and embrace a love that never fails.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease. (1 Cor 13)

These days I tend to spend my limited time on TikTok loving and living out Jesus to those whom the Christian church hurt then blamed. They need a better example than what they’re seeing. I invite you to come to join me and I don’t just mean on TikTok. Join me everywhere! There are lots of people hurt by the church wherever you are and wherever you hang out. I wonder how the perception of Christianity would change if we all sought out those hurt by that church and simply showed them a better church in you!

Note: A version of this article first appeared on Adventist Today. Click here to read it.

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